Day 15

Sep. 1st, 2010 02:33 am
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Day 01. Your favorite song - Peg, Steely Dan
Day 02. Your least favorite song - Takin' Care of Business, Bachman Turner Overdrive
Day 03. A song that makes you happy - Donkey Rhubarb, Aphex Twin
Day 04. A song that makes you sad - This Woman's Work, Kate Bush
Day 05. A song that reminds you of someone - Flakes, Frank Zappa
Day 06. A song that reminds you of somewhere - City of the Angels, Wang Chung
Day 07. A song that reminds you of a certain event - Stick Your Neck Out, Dot 3
Day 08. A song that you know all the words to - I Believe She's Lying, Jon Brion
Day 09. A song that you can dance to - Soft Core, Maurice & the Clichés
Day 10. A song that makes you fall asleep - Thursday Afternoon, Brian Eno
Day 11. A song from your favorite band - You're The Wish You Are I Had, XTC
Day 12. A song from a band you hate - You're Beautiful, James Blunt
Day 13. A song that is a guilty pleasure - Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson
Day 14. A song that no one would expect you to love - Work It, Missy Elliott
Day 15. A song that describes you - Blue Jeans, Blur
Day 16. A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17. A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18. A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19. A song from your favorite album
Day 20. A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21. A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22. A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23. A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24. A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25. A song that makes you laugh
Day 26. A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27. A song that you wish you could play
Day 28. A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29. A song from your childhood
Day 30. Your favorite song at this time last year

By the time I head off to bed, John has already been asleep for hours. I try to be sneaky. I leave the lights off and float through the bedroom slowly with my arms outstretched. I look a fool, but if I bonk into anything or stub my toe, I'll cuss out loud and wake him up. Don't want that. So I'm careful.

When I slip into bed, I do it quietly, and then I follow John's lead. If he reaches over and rubs my bald head, which I love, then I get to hug him from behind and say nice things to him for a while. If he doesn't move, or if he turns away from me, then the message is clear. Sleep now.

A few nights ago, I climbed into bed, and John didn't move. I lay still for a moment, watching his back and shoulders rise and fall, listening to his breathing. No change. Never change. Soft burr, soft burr. Sleepy bear. Warm under his blankets.

I'm so happy now. I want everything to stay the same. Isn't that naive? I know that I can't have it. That's doomed thinking. But hoping is different, isn't it?

I wanted to wake John up. I always do. Instead, because I knew he was asleep and wouldn't hear me, I whispered to him, "Live forever."

In the darkness, he whispered back: Okay.

Runner-Up: Getting Better, The Beatles

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