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What is bad sex? Am I having it? I came out late in life, still a virgin, so maybe my sex is of the bad variety, and I just don't know it.
What makes it bad? Is it purely physical? Are guys with smallish wieners like mine cursed to have bad sex forever and ever? Is it a lack of enthusiasm?
For that matter, what is mediocre sex? Does everyone know when they have it, or give it, or do some have to be told?
Does it have more to do with communication? This is my guess. Maybe some people have a difficult time saying what they want, and so they don't get it. Maybe some people assume too much. Maybe bad sex involves poo, when one of the participants didn't want it to.
Does bad sex happen before, during, or after? I've heard of people stopping in the middle of the act, as if waking from hypnosis, thinking My GOD, what am I doing? I think we've all had the "ew moment" on the drive home afterward. But does anyone actually go into it, knowing that it's going to be bad?
Is bad sex simply a lack of connection? I'm willing to debate this one. When I was on the road, I had seamy, anonymous, no-talking, scratch-that-itch, rest area sex that was fucking awesome, and I never regretted... most of them. The ones that were bad? The guys said dumb, crass things that I didn't want them to. Then again, if I'd told them to shut up, then they would have had bad sex.
I strongly suspect that when we talk about bad sex, we're all talking about different things.
I've changed my guess. Maybe bad sex has more to do with expectations.
No one hangs out in rest areas thinking that they're going to connect with someone on a spiritual level. Truck stop sex is what it is, and it's fun on its own merits, if that's what you want. (Distancing language.) It's the same with hooking up in bars, bath houses, everything.
Maybe bad sex occurs when one has reason to expect more. There's a physical attraction, along with an emotional and/or intellectual one. But for some unknowable reason, your Hot Sex trains just pass each other on different tracks.
No, wait. Never mind. That's mediocre sex.
What the hell is bad sex? Am I having it?
What makes it bad? Is it purely physical? Are guys with smallish wieners like mine cursed to have bad sex forever and ever? Is it a lack of enthusiasm?
For that matter, what is mediocre sex? Does everyone know when they have it, or give it, or do some have to be told?
Does it have more to do with communication? This is my guess. Maybe some people have a difficult time saying what they want, and so they don't get it. Maybe some people assume too much. Maybe bad sex involves poo, when one of the participants didn't want it to.
Does bad sex happen before, during, or after? I've heard of people stopping in the middle of the act, as if waking from hypnosis, thinking My GOD, what am I doing? I think we've all had the "ew moment" on the drive home afterward. But does anyone actually go into it, knowing that it's going to be bad?
Is bad sex simply a lack of connection? I'm willing to debate this one. When I was on the road, I had seamy, anonymous, no-talking, scratch-that-itch, rest area sex that was fucking awesome, and I never regretted... most of them. The ones that were bad? The guys said dumb, crass things that I didn't want them to. Then again, if I'd told them to shut up, then they would have had bad sex.
I strongly suspect that when we talk about bad sex, we're all talking about different things.
I've changed my guess. Maybe bad sex has more to do with expectations.
No one hangs out in rest areas thinking that they're going to connect with someone on a spiritual level. Truck stop sex is what it is, and it's fun on its own merits, if that's what you want. (Distancing language.) It's the same with hooking up in bars, bath houses, everything.
Maybe bad sex occurs when one has reason to expect more. There's a physical attraction, along with an emotional and/or intellectual one. But for some unknowable reason, your Hot Sex trains just pass each other on different tracks.
No, wait. Never mind. That's mediocre sex.
What the hell is bad sex? Am I having it?
