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Last night, the SF Fog rugby team held a fundraiser for the first time at Planet Big, a local fat girls dance that we attend every couple of weeks. It's all chubby guys, and chasers.
Having a sports team there was... interesting. Actually, it was very cool. We see the same people month after month at this event, and having them there broke up our unnatural insularity. Perhaps this was the point. Being inclusive is a big thing for them.
However, they leaned on us to buy their shit. They leaned hard. This is also perhaps the point. It was a fundraiser, after all. But while I put up with this behavior from other bears at the Lone Star during Beer Busts and other fundraisers, I resented it from the SF Fog, because at any other time, none of them would ever be caught dead at Planet Big. So last night I sent this email to their website:
Hello!
I went to the Planet Big fundraiser tonight.
First off, I have zero problem with fundraising. I totally get it. And having girls there was awesome. It is ALWAYS awesome dancing with women.
However, when it came to raffle tickets and merch, I saw a lot of hard selling. I think perhaps the reason you found yourselves having to hard sell is because you're a sports team, and we're big fat guys.
That's big fat guys, as in picked last for everything in high school P.E. class, openly mocked at the gym, and generally unwelcome in All Things Gay. We are outsiders to sports, and we're very, very leery of you and your motives, especially if we've never seen you in our club before, and you show up to sell us stuff. Please don't hard sell. There is some resentment there.
Also, baiting us with the hot guy who pretended to be interested in us for a night, to sell tickets? That was kind of mean.
It worked. It probably worked very well. But can you see how that might be insulting?
Having women to dance with totally ruled. More of that, please. But also, please go easy on us? Most of us like the idea of gay/inclusive sports, and we want to see you succeed, but we don't know you yet, and right now it feels like you don't give a damn about us unless we're spending money on you. That feeling got tired decades ago.
Having a sports team there was... interesting. Actually, it was very cool. We see the same people month after month at this event, and having them there broke up our unnatural insularity. Perhaps this was the point. Being inclusive is a big thing for them.
However, they leaned on us to buy their shit. They leaned hard. This is also perhaps the point. It was a fundraiser, after all. But while I put up with this behavior from other bears at the Lone Star during Beer Busts and other fundraisers, I resented it from the SF Fog, because at any other time, none of them would ever be caught dead at Planet Big. So last night I sent this email to their website:
Hello!
I went to the Planet Big fundraiser tonight.
First off, I have zero problem with fundraising. I totally get it. And having girls there was awesome. It is ALWAYS awesome dancing with women.
However, when it came to raffle tickets and merch, I saw a lot of hard selling. I think perhaps the reason you found yourselves having to hard sell is because you're a sports team, and we're big fat guys.
That's big fat guys, as in picked last for everything in high school P.E. class, openly mocked at the gym, and generally unwelcome in All Things Gay. We are outsiders to sports, and we're very, very leery of you and your motives, especially if we've never seen you in our club before, and you show up to sell us stuff. Please don't hard sell. There is some resentment there.
Also, baiting us with the hot guy who pretended to be interested in us for a night, to sell tickets? That was kind of mean.
It worked. It probably worked very well. But can you see how that might be insulting?
Having women to dance with totally ruled. More of that, please. But also, please go easy on us? Most of us like the idea of gay/inclusive sports, and we want to see you succeed, but we don't know you yet, and right now it feels like you don't give a damn about us unless we're spending money on you. That feeling got tired decades ago.
