I glare at thee,
bigreddee
Seven things about me that you probably don't know? This is difficult, because if something embarrassing or messed up happens to me, I blab it to everyone immediately. I am not mysterious. Um...
1. I died when I was a baby. Crib death. Mom found me, blue and quite dead. Luckily we lived down the street from Naval Hospital Lemoore, where I got better. Kids are resilient.
2. My L1, L2, and L3 vertebral transverse processes have fused into a giant blob of bone on one side, limiting motion. I can't feel it. It doesn't bother me.
3. I recognize awkward, horrified embarrassment as our purest, most beautiful emotion. During these moments, all our masks fall away, and we become as authentic as we ever get. It is because of this that I will do everything in my power to extend moments of awkwardness as long as I can without getting caught.
4. Only recently have I learned to admit that I don't know something.
5. I strongly dislike live performance. I don't go see bands. I hate stand up comedy. I don't even like seeing movies in theaters. It mostly has to do with audiences not being able to shut the fuck up. This is why, when I die, my soul will go to Largo, on Fairfax in West Hollywood, which is what I have instead of a heaven.
6. I was popular in high school. I have no idea how that happened. Despite my popularity, I still felt like a hopeless outsider. I think it's just something everyone feels.
7. Years of playing guitar have mutated my left hand.

Seven things about me that you probably don't know? This is difficult, because if something embarrassing or messed up happens to me, I blab it to everyone immediately. I am not mysterious. Um...
1. I died when I was a baby. Crib death. Mom found me, blue and quite dead. Luckily we lived down the street from Naval Hospital Lemoore, where I got better. Kids are resilient.
2. My L1, L2, and L3 vertebral transverse processes have fused into a giant blob of bone on one side, limiting motion. I can't feel it. It doesn't bother me.
3. I recognize awkward, horrified embarrassment as our purest, most beautiful emotion. During these moments, all our masks fall away, and we become as authentic as we ever get. It is because of this that I will do everything in my power to extend moments of awkwardness as long as I can without getting caught.
4. Only recently have I learned to admit that I don't know something.
5. I strongly dislike live performance. I don't go see bands. I hate stand up comedy. I don't even like seeing movies in theaters. It mostly has to do with audiences not being able to shut the fuck up. This is why, when I die, my soul will go to Largo, on Fairfax in West Hollywood, which is what I have instead of a heaven.
6. I was popular in high school. I have no idea how that happened. Despite my popularity, I still felt like a hopeless outsider. I think it's just something everyone feels.
7. Years of playing guitar have mutated my left hand.