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May. 20th, 2008 03:53 amDear Will Smith,
How are you?
Good I hope.
I was wondering if you were maybe sad, or angry with your career? Because you appear to be throwing it away. That is confusing, because it seems like a perfectly good career. It looks okay. Is it broken? If it isn't broken, maybe you should give it to someone who could use a good career instead of trashing it. Like all of Philadelphia, maybe?
I am asking because, now that everyone knows that you are undeniably a Scientologist, whenever we watch you on the tv or movie screen, instead of your character, all we can see is you sucking David Miscavige's angry midget wiener. "Go ahead," we say to ourselves. "Try to visualize Will Smith, who is presently on the movie screen, doing anything other than chugging David Miscavige's truncated sausagette in the captain's quarters on board the Freewinds, with John Travolta and Tom Cruise grinning and nodding in toady approval. You can't. You cannot do it."
We cannot imagine anything else, because that is what you are presently doing, and it's going to take a lot of effort on your part to disassociate yourself from our current vivid and sadly accurate mental image of a leering David Miscavige, who was hand-picked by L. Ron Hubbard himself to chair the Scientology corporation, taking your head in his hands and pushing his shiny pink helmet past your puckered lips, as you slowly close your eyes and work your tongue effortlessly along the shaft. It's a difficult image to dispel, and that upsets me, because I genuinely like you, and I thought you were smart.
I was also wondering if maybe you had heard of a thing called an internet. It is neat! You can learn about all sorts of things for free on the internet. Like how you should have run away when you first heard about Xenu, or how buying a Scientology school for your children makes you look crackers, or how Tom Cruise's career is already over, but he doesn't know it yet because his handlers control the information he and Katie receive. Just like you now!
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, and encourage you to try out the internet, before your handlers put a net nanny on your computer's browser so you don't find out until it's too late what it is exactly that you've stepped in. Good luck!
Love,
Matthew
PS: Don't tell them you're gay during your auditing sessions, or they'll blackmail you and you're fucked. Ask Tom and John.
How are you?
Good I hope.
I was wondering if you were maybe sad, or angry with your career? Because you appear to be throwing it away. That is confusing, because it seems like a perfectly good career. It looks okay. Is it broken? If it isn't broken, maybe you should give it to someone who could use a good career instead of trashing it. Like all of Philadelphia, maybe?
I am asking because, now that everyone knows that you are undeniably a Scientologist, whenever we watch you on the tv or movie screen, instead of your character, all we can see is you sucking David Miscavige's angry midget wiener. "Go ahead," we say to ourselves. "Try to visualize Will Smith, who is presently on the movie screen, doing anything other than chugging David Miscavige's truncated sausagette in the captain's quarters on board the Freewinds, with John Travolta and Tom Cruise grinning and nodding in toady approval. You can't. You cannot do it."
We cannot imagine anything else, because that is what you are presently doing, and it's going to take a lot of effort on your part to disassociate yourself from our current vivid and sadly accurate mental image of a leering David Miscavige, who was hand-picked by L. Ron Hubbard himself to chair the Scientology corporation, taking your head in his hands and pushing his shiny pink helmet past your puckered lips, as you slowly close your eyes and work your tongue effortlessly along the shaft. It's a difficult image to dispel, and that upsets me, because I genuinely like you, and I thought you were smart.
I was also wondering if maybe you had heard of a thing called an internet. It is neat! You can learn about all sorts of things for free on the internet. Like how you should have run away when you first heard about Xenu, or how buying a Scientology school for your children makes you look crackers, or how Tom Cruise's career is already over, but he doesn't know it yet because his handlers control the information he and Katie receive. Just like you now!
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, and encourage you to try out the internet, before your handlers put a net nanny on your computer's browser so you don't find out until it's too late what it is exactly that you've stepped in. Good luck!
Love,
Matthew
PS: Don't tell them you're gay during your auditing sessions, or they'll blackmail you and you're fucked. Ask Tom and John.
